#1460. Use words to build others (25/2/25)

Welcome to this Come to Jesus Daily Devotional (posted, at present, every weekday) as we continue our Ephesians series: Ephesians - To the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.

From Ephesians 4:29, let’s learn to use our words only to build others up according to their needs.

To watch this devotional, please select the link below:

1. Are we self-aware in how we speak? 

I know from experience how easy it is to fall into habits of gossip, moaning, and talking about things that are of no real value. 

I would like to think that growing older has made me more sensitive to my careless speech - that I notice it more as I get more mature -  However, the truth is that maybe I’m just more prone to negative speech as time goes by!

One thing I must never forget: time is no guarantee of maturity. Time can give you the opportunity to mature - or the opportunity to fall deeper into unhealthy habits.

As we continue in our Christian lives, God desires to sanctify us more and more. Our speech should therefore be improving. How we talk is a fundamental part of what Paul says earlier in verse 24: that we are to ‘put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.’ Our words reveal whether we are clothing ourselves in the new self.

2. Avoid corrupting speech 

‘Unwholesome talk’ is speech that does not reflect the image of God that is to be seen in us. The ESV translates this as ‘corrupting talk.’ The Greek word ‘sapros’ speaks of something rotten or decaying.

Corrupt speech spreads decay. It tears down and infects. Those who speak in this way can influence those around them — bringing ungodly attitudes and beliefs into families, churches, and workplaces.

We can all do this in small or larger ways, depending on our influence. For example, those who misuse gifts such as teaching, leadership, or exhortation can cause significant harm. Words are powerful - indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword.

3. Use words to build others

Rather, we are to speak ‘only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’ 

Helpful and building speech can take the form of:

Helpful, building speech can take many forms:

• Teaching — Explaining and applying biblical truth.

• Exhortation — Urging others to live godly lives.

• Encouragement — Imparting courage, hope, and reassurance.

• Prophecy — Holy Spirit-inspired words that “strengthen, encourage and comfort.”

• Correction — Loving rebuke that protects and restores.

• Small talk — Ordinary conversation that builds relationship and shows care.

Even seemingly simple conversation can be deeply spiritual when it strengthens connection and communicates love.

Response

How is our speech - are we self-aware? Do we listen well and do we speak in order to build others up and be of benefit to them? 

How do we deal with our anger and rage? Do we pour out our hearts to God or a trusted and mature friend or do we, unwisely, pour out anger and rage in unhelpful and destructive ways? 

Let’s ‘put on the new self’ as go into each day - ready to be used by the Holy Spirit in His ministry of building others up.  

Community Group Notes

1. Notices

It might be good to begin with notices. Please share from this week’s Church News. 

2. Icebreaker

Something that builds relationships and confidence to share; it’s good to regularly use this moment to ask the group: How has God been speaking to you from His Word this week, and how has this helped you? 

3. Worship together

Let’s begin our time together by lifting our eyes and hearts to worship our great God. Perhaps you have readings and songs that you would like to use together. Let’s be open to the gifts that the Spirit wants to give in order to encourage one another.

4. Study and pray together

Balanced Time Allocation - Please ensure a healthy balance between discussion, SIV (Serve, Invest, Invite), and prayer so that each section is meaningful and fruitful.

On Sunday we continued our series:

Ephesians: To the Praise, for the Purpose, in the Power of God

From Ephesians 4:25–32, the message was:

‘Let’s put on the things of the Holy Spirit rather than the devil so as to enjoy healthy relationships.’

Please read Ephesians 4:25–32 together before discussing.

1. Personal Reflection

• From Sunday’s message and this passage, what stood out to you? Was there anything the Holy Spirit particularly impressed on your heart? Is there an area where you sense God calling you to change?

2. v.25 – Put on Truth, Not Falsehood

• Why do you think truthfulness comes first in this list?

• How does dishonesty damage relationships and church unity?

• In what subtle ways might we struggle with truthfulness (exaggeration, concealment, image management)?

3. v.26–27 – Put on Peace-Making, Not Bitterness

• Paul says unresolved anger can ‘give the devil a foothold.’ Why?

• What does it look like to deal with anger in a healthy, godly way?

4. v.28 – Put on Usefulness and Generosity

• What does this verse teach about work, productivity, and purpose?

• How does usefulness connect to generosity?

• Are we being wasteful with our time, energy, or gifts - or intentional and fruitful?

• How might God be prompting us to grow in generosity?

5. v.29–32 – Put on Speech that Builds

• Where do we most struggle in the area of speech? (tone, criticism, gossip, harshness, social media, etc.)

• Why is speech so powerful in shaping the health of a church?

SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite)

• Being a light -  How does ‘putting off’ sinful patterns and ‘putting on’ Spirit-led character make the gospel attractive? In what ways does relational health strengthen our witness?

• Sharing Stories – Have you had any recent opportunities to Serve, Invest in, or Invite someone toward Jesus? Let’s encourage one another by sharing stories of how we’ve seen God at work through simple faithfulness.

• Practical Next Steps – Who might God be placing on your heart at this time? Are there any “people of peace” (see note) in your life—those who seem open, welcoming, or receptive to spiritual conversation? What is one small step you could take this week?

Let’s Pray Together

Let’s pray for one another in light of what we’ve studied and bring any other needs before God.

• Pray for courage, wisdom, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in our Serve, Invest, and Invite opportunities.

• Pray specifically for the ‘people of peace’ in our lives - that God would open hearts and deepen relationships.

• General prayer: From our study, or from personal needs, how do people want prayer?

For Church Finances

Our passage speaks of usefulness and generosity. Please pray for our church finances. Despite growth in numbers, financial giving has not increased proportionally.

Please pray:

• For cheerful and faith-filled generosity.

• For wisdom and stewardship as a church.

• Personally consider whether God may be calling you to begin giving or to increase your giving.