#1474. Wives submit yourselves to your husbands (17/3/26)

Welcome to this Come to Jesus Daily Devotional (posted, at present, every weekday) as we continue our Ephesians series: Ephesians - To the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.

To watch this devotional, please select the link below:

Recently, I read of a Christian leader who was reading some material on Christian marriage. In the suggested Bible readings, however, it omitted the three passages that speak most directly to husbands and wives: Ephesians 5:22–33; Colossians 3:18–19; and 1 Peter 3:1–7. He writes:

Today, from Ephesians 5:22-24, let’s reflect on what godly submission means in marriage. 

In Colossians 3, we read something very similar: 

1. ‘Wives submit yourselves’

Firstly, this is something a wife is to do of her own volition. Nowhere are husbands told, “Husbands, make sure your wife submits to you.”

The word submit translates the Greek verb hypotassō, which means “to place oneself under” or “to willingly arrange oneself under the leadership of another.”

This is something a wife, based on God’s Word, chooses to do in obedience to Jesus.

However, before someone says, “I’ll only submit to my husband when he is like Christ—or very nearly perfect,” we should remember what Peter writes about wives whose husbands do not believe. The same principle can apply to a less-than-perfect Christian husband:

2. ‘To your own husbands’

Secondly, this instruction is about marriage, not a general command for women to submit to all men. Scripture is addressing the covenant relationship between a husband and a wife.

3. As you do to the Lord

This phrase makes it clear that this is indeed about submission. Some attempt to explain this away, but the words plainly speak of a wife submitting to her husband. This is God’s design for marriage.

Some people find this difficult, and that is understandable. However, as Christians, we seek to submit to God’s Word and to live it out in a healthy and meaningful way.

At the same time, it is vital to understand that a wife’s obedience to Jesus is paramount. She submits to her husband as an act of obedience to Christ; however, she must never obey anything that contradicts God’s Word or will. This is an important principle and safeguard.

We see an example of this in Abigail in 1 Samuel 25. She acted against the wishes of her harsh and foolish husband in order to bring food to David and his hungry men. Her actions were not motivated by pride or rebellion, but by a higher obedience to God and a desire to show mercy. If a wife ever has to defy her husband, may it only be for such godly and noble reasons.

4. For the husband is the head of the wife

The husband is the “head of the wife” in the sense that he is called to be the spiritual leader in the marriage.

Some argue that the Greek word kephalē (‘head’) means ‘source’,  like the source of a river, referring to woman being created from man. However, the context strongly suggests leadership, particularly because the husband’s role is compared to Christ’s headship over the church.

It is also helpful to note that the wife’s submission reflects the pattern we see within the Godhead. Though Jesus is fully equal with the Father, He willingly submits to the Father’s will. As Paul writes:

This shows that submission does not imply inferiority, but rather reflects God’s order and design.

5. ‘Now as the the church submits to Christ’

Finally, a wife’s submission is modelled on the church’s relationship to Jesus. Marriage is designed to be a living picture of Christ and the church.

If we remove authority and submission in marriage and replace it with a concept of purely mutual submission, we lose something of the image God intended marriage to portray.

6. A word to the unmarried

How do these words apply if we are not married?

The truth that we are the bride of Christ reminds us that all believers are called to submit to His leadership. Jesus is the “head of the church,” and we are described as His body. Therefore, we seek to align ourselves with His will.

He is also described here as the Saviour. Today’s passage is another opportunity to celebrate and rest in the truth that Jesus has saved us. However you feel about being single, and whatever your circumstances, Jesus is your Saviour. You do not need to save yourself, and you can find the fullness of life in Him.

Response

We all approach this teaching with different experiences, and those experiences can shape how we respond to these words. Sadly, sinful behaviour in marriage—such as harsh leadership from a husband—can make this subject particularly painful.

However, the failures of people should not rob us of God’s good design as revealed in His Word.

In our next devotional we will consider the calling given to husbands, which is also an extremely high and challenging calling.

For wives, a good response is to seek Jesus and ask Him to search your heart and help you grow toward this ideal.

It may also be helpful to talk with your husband about this passage and pray together about how your marriage can increasingly reflect the beautiful relationship between Christ and His church.

Community Group Notes

1. Notices

It might be good to begin with notices. Please share from this week’s Church News.

2. Icebreaker

Something that builds relationships and confidence to share; it’s good to regularly use this moment to ask the group: How has God been speaking to you from His Word this week, and how has this helped you? 

3. Worship together

Let’s begin our time together by lifting our eyes and hearts to worship our great God. Perhaps you have readings and songs that you would like to use together. Let’s be open to the gifts that the Spirit wants to give in order to encourage one another.

4. Study and pray together

Balanced Time Allocation - Please ensure a balanced focus on discussion, SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite), and prayer so that each section is meaningful and fruitful.

On Sunday, we continued our new series entitled: Ephesians: to the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God. 

Please read Ephesians 5:21-33 and discuss:

• Personal Reflection – From Sunday’s message and this passage, what stood out to you? Was there anything the Spirit particularly impressed on your heart?

• What does it mean for us to ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ’?

• How is marriage to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church?

• How do healthy marriages in the church bring glory to Jesus?

• If we are single, what great encouragements can we glean from this text? 

SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite)

• How does love and respect in marriage, and the way that all - including the single - care for one another, make us a light in the community? 

• Sharing Stories – Have you had any recent opportunities to Serve, Invest in, or Invite someone toward Jesus? Let’s encourage one another by sharing stories of how we’ve seen God at work through simple faithfulness.

• Practical Next Steps – Who might God be placing on your heart at this time? Are there any “people of peace” (see note) in your life—those who seem open, welcoming, or receptive to spiritual conversation?

Let’s Pray Together

Let’s pray for one another in light of what we’ve studied and bring any other needs before God.

• Pray for courage, wisdom, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in our Serve, Invest, and Invite opportunities.

• Pray specifically for the ‘people of peace’ in our lives - that God would open hearts and deepen relationships.

• General prayer: From our study, or from personal needs, how do people want prayer?