#1475.Husbands love your wives (18/3/26)
- Matt Beaney
- 4 hours ago
- 5 min read
Welcome to this Come to Jesus Daily Devotional (posted, at present, every weekday) as we continue our Ephesians series: Ephesians - To the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.
From Ephesians 5:25-30, let’s consider how husbands are to imitate Christ in marriage.
To watch this devotional, please select the link below:
‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.’ (Ephesians 5:25-30)
1. Husbands love your wives
Just as the wife is called to choose to submit to her husband, the husband is commanded to love his wife after the example of Jesus.
We should recognise that although the word submit may seem like a hard calling, an equally high and demanding calling is placed on the husband. In the original Greek, Paul writes about 40 words to wives regarding submission, but around 115 words to husbands about sacrificial, Christlike love.
The main challenge of this passage, therefore, falls on husbands. Will they love and lead sacrificially, or will they abdicate responsibility, become passive, and allow their wives to carry the weight of leadership?
It is also important to notice that this passage does not explicitly command husbands to lead their wives. Rather, they are commanded to love their wives.
If sacrificial love remains at the centre, the question of leadership will usually take care of itself. After all, what wife would not want to follow a husband who genuinely seeks to love her as Christ loves the church?!
2. Love your wives as Christ loved the church
Husbands are to model their role on Jesus’ relationship with his church. Just as Christ ‘gave himself up for her’, so a husband’s leadership must be characterised by self-giving love.
This does not mean mutual submission. Jesus, although He served the church was, and is, still her Lord; likewise self-giving love on the part of the husband does not remove His role as leader in the marriage. Christopher Ash writes:
‘The male chauvinist may have been cheering verses 22–24, in which the wives are told to submit: now at last she will treat me as I deserve, he thinks, waiting on me hand and foot and generally being subservient to make my life easier. Not a bit. The model for the husband is the way Christ treats his church, which is to give himself up even to death for her. Not only is he not to be harsh with her (Colossians 3:19), a peculiarly male tendency; on the contrary, he is to love her whatever it costs him. The shape of marriage for the husband is the shape of the cross…The crown given to the husband is a crown of thorns.’ (Ash, Christopher. Married for God)
Response
If sacrificial love remains at the centre, the issue of leadership will usually take care of itself.
If we are husbands, we must ask ourselves some searching questions:
Are we selfish, or are we self-giving?
Do we seek to nurture our wives and families proactively?
Are we praying sacrificially for them?
Are we seeking to lead our loved ones toward Jesus?
Do we avoid needless wastes of time and resources, choosing instead to invest wisely in what truly matters?
When we face major decisions—changes of job, home, or location—are we leading well? When there is disagreement, do we lead with gentleness and humility, seeking unity and consensus through faith?
Let’s finish with these words written by Christopher Ash - who is quoting C. S. Lewis:
‘The crown given to the husband is a crown of thorns.’
Community Group Notes
1. Notices
It might be good to begin with notices. Please share from this week’s Church News.
2. Icebreaker
Something that builds relationships and confidence to share; it’s good to regularly use this moment to ask the group: How has God been speaking to you from His Word this week, and how has this helped you?
3. Worship together
Let’s begin our time together by lifting our eyes and hearts to worship our great God. Perhaps you have readings and songs that you would like to use together. Let’s be open to the gifts that the Spirit wants to give in order to encourage one another.
4. Study and pray together
Balanced Time Allocation - Please ensure a balanced focus on discussion, SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite), and prayer so that each section is meaningful and fruitful.
On Sunday, we continued our new series entitled: Ephesians: to the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.
Please read Ephesians 5:21-33 and discuss:
Personal Reflection – From Sunday’s message and this passage, what stood out to you? Was there anything the Spirit particularly impressed on your heart?
What does it mean for us to ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ’?
How is marriage to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church?
How do healthy marriages in the church bring glory to Jesus?
If we are single, what great encouragements can we glean from this text?
SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite)
How does love and respect in marriage, and the way that all - including the single - care for one another, make us a light in the community?
Sharing Stories – Have you had any recent opportunities to Serve, Invest in, or Invite someone toward Jesus? Let’s encourage one another by sharing stories of how we’ve seen God at work through simple faithfulness.
Practical Next Steps – Who might God be placing on your heart at this time? Are there any “people of peace” (see note) in your life—those who seem open, welcoming, or receptive to spiritual conversation?
Let’s Pray Together
Let’s pray for one another in light of what we’ve studied and bring any other needs before God.
Pray for courage, wisdom, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in our Serve, Invest, and Invite opportunities.
Pray specifically for the ‘people of peace’ in our lives - that God would open hearts and deepen relationships.
General prayer: From our study, or from personal needs, how do people want prayer?
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