#1476. God’s pattern for marriage (19/3/26)

Welcome to this Come to Jesus Daily Devotional (posted, at present, every weekday) as we continue our Ephesians series: Ephesians - To the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.

From Ephesians 5:31, let’s reflect on God’s pattern for marriage - in a world of confusion and the throwing off of time-tested wisdom - let’s honour God’s design for marriage and singleness. 

To watch this devotional, please select the link below:

This text is a restatement of Genesis 2:24, when God created mankind. It’s important to note that Jesus also also reaffirms this pattern in Matthew 19,

1. Marriage is between a man and woman

God’s design for marriage, as we see even in the first creation of mankind, is a covenantal lifelong commitment between one man and one woman. Whilst the state can legislate for civil partnerships between same sex couples, true Christian marriage is by God’s design. 

If we are going to pursue God’s vision for marriage, it’s important that we prayerfully seek the right marriage partner.  Whilst of course someone may have a non-Christian spouse for all sorts of reasons, however, the ideal and Biblical command is that a Christian marry someone with whom they can worship and serve Jesus. This why we read:

This is a reference to widows, however, the principle of being ‘yolked’ to someone who is going in the same direction - serving the King and the Kingdom - is for all seeking to marry. It’s also important to note the value in remaining single - a single person is not in any way lacking. 

2. Leaving and cleaving

We are told that: 

This is often described as ‘leaving and cleaving.’ The word cleaving comes from another way of translating the Hebrew word dāvaq, meaning ‘to be united to.’ The term conveys the idea of sticking fast or being firmly joined together- like two things glued together.

Marriage involves a leaving of the old family relationship. Our relationship with parents has changed. In forming a new family, the primary direction and priority of love and submission is now within the new family. 

Marriage is intended to create the closest human relationship you will have.

It involves:

• Leaving primary dependence on parents

• Forming a new primary loyalty to your spouse

• Building a shared life together

3. Unity comes after covenant

Many people, even those who claim to be Christians, think that living together is good, even wise. 

This is an utterly unbiblical and ungodly attitude! Christopher Ash writes: 

Covenants are throughout scripture. A covenant is a binding agreement with agreed expectations. These binding agreements, include three elements:

• Promises

• Witnesses

• Public recognition

In Malachi, we read of the marriage covenant - in which God is the greatest witness:

Of the marriage between Boaz and Ruth, we read: 

Response

Our main response to understand that God has a plan for marriage. The world wants to press us into its mould and man-made wisdom. God design is that marriage is a covenantal lifelong commitment between one man and one woman.

Are we as passionate about the health of our marriage as God is? He’s the witness of our covenant, how can we invest in the health of our marriages? 

If you are single, God sees this as a good thing with many opportunities to serve His and the body of Christ. 

If you are single and want to marry, are you prayerfully seeking someone who is ‘in the Lord’ - whose love and faith inspire you to go higher and further? 

Community Group Notes

1. Notices

It might be good to begin with notices. Please share from this week’s Church News.

2. Icebreaker

Something that builds relationships and confidence to share; it’s good to regularly use this moment to ask the group: How has God been speaking to you from His Word this week, and how has this helped you? 

3. Worship together

Let’s begin our time together by lifting our eyes and hearts to worship our great God. Perhaps you have readings and songs that you would like to use together. Let’s be open to the gifts that the Spirit wants to give in order to encourage one another.

4. Study and pray together

Balanced Time Allocation - Please ensure a balanced focus on discussion, SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite), and prayer so that each section is meaningful and fruitful.

On Sunday, we continued our new series entitled: Ephesians: to the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God. 

Please read Ephesians 5:21-33 and discuss:

• Personal Reflection – From Sunday’s message and this passage, what stood out to you? Was there anything the Spirit particularly impressed on your heart?

• What does it mean for us to ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ’?

• How is marriage to mirror the relationship between Christ and the church?

• How do healthy marriages in the church bring glory to Jesus?

• If we are single, what great encouragements can we glean from this text? 

SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite)

• How does love and respect in marriage, and the way that all - including the single - care for one another, make us a light in the community? 

• Sharing Stories – Have you had any recent opportunities to Serve, Invest in, or Invite someone toward Jesus? Let’s encourage one another by sharing stories of how we’ve seen God at work through simple faithfulness.

• Practical Next Steps – Who might God be placing on your heart at this time? Are there any “people of peace” (see note) in your life—those who seem open, welcoming, or receptive to spiritual conversation?

Let’s Pray Together

Let’s pray for one another in light of what we’ve studied and bring any other needs before God.

• Pray for courage, wisdom, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in our Serve, Invest, and Invite opportunities.

• Pray specifically for the ‘people of peace’ in our lives - that God would open hearts and deepen relationships.

• General prayer: From our study, or from personal needs, how do people want prayer?