#1481. Train children in the Lord (26/3/26)
- Matt Beaney
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Welcome to this Come to Jesus Daily Devotional (posted, at present, every weekday) as we continue our Ephesians series: Ephesians - To the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.
From Ephesians 6:4, we consider the vital place of discipline and correction in the formation of a young person.
To watch this devotional, please select the link below:
‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honour your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ (Ephesians 6:1-4)
We have been covering this text throughout this week, today we continue reflecting on verse 4:
‘Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’ (Ephesians 6:4)
In our last devotional, we considered how we are not to exasperate or provoke our children to anger wherever possible. Today, we see that a key safeguard against this is to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” We will focus on what it means to train our children..
1. Bring them up
We are told to “bring them up.” This translates the Greek verb ektrephō: to nourish, rear, or bring to maturity.
Like a gardener tending plants, we must use wise and attentive care: How much sunlight is needed? How much water? What support is required? In the same way, a child is to be nourished and raised with intentionality, wisdom, and love.
2. Bring them up through training
The first element for raising a child is the requirement to train. Train, translate the greek, paideia: discipline (often physical!) instruction, training, education. It carries the idea of correction and guidance that shapes character over time.
We read in Proverbs:‘A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.’ (Proverbs 15:5)
Hebrews 12 also teaches us that discipline—though often viewed negatively—is an expression of love:‘“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. (Hebrews 12:5-8)
Tim Chester writes:
‘Disciplining children is hard work. It’s often easier just to ignore what your toddler has done or leave your angry teenager holed up in their room. As human parents we often decide to let it go this time round. We don’t want a head-to-head confrontation in the supermarket aisle to spoil our comfort or ruin our reputation. But we know that’s a selfish attitude. We know we would be sacrificing the long-term nurture of our children for the sake of our short-term convenience. I realise sometimes you have to choose your battles. But the point still stands: in the long run discipline is an act of love.’ ( Tim Chester, Enjoying God)
Response
Have we absorbed the false message that discipline is inherently harmful? That words like rebuke, correction, and even appropriate sanctions are always damaging?
Hebrews gives us this promise:
‘No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.’ (Hebrews 12:11)
True love seeks the good of another. The loving parent, within the security of unconditional love, will commit to raising their children through wise, consistent, and gracious training.
And, if we don’t have children, today’s text reminds us that God, our Father disciplines us for our good. Through hardships, trials, convictions, conflicts… He is working to develop our character.
Community Group Notes
1. Notices
It might be good to begin with notices. Please share from this week’s Church News.
2. Icebreaker
Something that builds relationships and confidence to share; it’s good to regularly use this moment to ask the group: How has God been speaking to you from His Word this week, and how has this helped you?
3. Worship together
Let’s begin our time together by lifting our eyes and hearts to worship our great God. Perhaps you have readings and songs that you would like to use together. Let’s be open to the gifts that the Spirit wants to give in order to encourage one another.
4. Study and pray together
Balanced Time Allocation - Please ensure a balanced focus on discussion, SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite), and prayer so that each section is meaningful and fruitful.
On Sunday, we continued our new series entitled: Ephesians: to the praise, for the purpose, in the power of God.
From Ephesians 6:1-4, we learn that God has a design for family relationships that lead to flourishing.
Please read Ephesians 6:1–4 and discuss:
Personal reflection – From Sunday’s message and this passage, what stood out to you? Was there anything the Holy Spirit particularly impressed on your heart?
The command and the promise – What is the promised outcome of obeying this command? In light of this, what might be the consequences of neglecting or disobeying it?
To children – This instruction is given to all children, both young and old. What does it look like in practice to obey and honour parents? How can we do this faithfully, even when parents are not believers or do not act in godly ways?
To parents – What are parents warned to avoid, and why? How do ‘training’ (discipline and correction) and ‘instruction’ (intentional, godly teaching) serve as the antidote to exasperating or provoking children to anger?
SIV (Serve, Invest, and Invite)
The witness of godly families - From our text, how does godly family life bring glory to Jesus in this world?
Sharing Stories – Have you had any recent opportunities to Serve, Invest in, or Invite someone toward Jesus? Let’s encourage one another by sharing stories of how we’ve seen God at work through simple faithfulness.
Practical Next Steps – Who might God be placing on your heart at this time? Are there any “people of peace” (see note) in your life—those who seem open, welcoming, or receptive to spiritual conversation?
Let’s Pray Together
Please pray for the Easter period - for both our Good Friday and Easter services - pray for opportunities, and the love, to take those opportunities to invite people.
Pray for courage, wisdom, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit in our Serve, Invest, and Invite opportunities.
Pray specifically for the ‘people of peace’ in our lives - that God would open hearts and deepen relationships.
General prayer: From our study, or from personal needs, how do people want prayer?
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